Sometimes it takes me a while to settle into something that eventually becomes as comfortable as a pair of my favorite shoes. It seems like I want to travel down the road of making sure I have tried everything, so that I will not get fixated on what I might not have experienced. Such is the saga of writing. I look at my writing over the last 5 years and realize that I have barely written anything for awhile and I think I am finally admitting that I might be stuck.
Stuck in the past, afraid to move forward and live. Afraid I might forget how precious was the time I had with my son, Scot. Stuck in letting life move forward for all those in my life who are alive. How does one do this, let the present happen and the future push you forward? I honestly don’t know when this ever gets easier.
This week I am spending time with my most amazing best friend, husband and father of our amazing family. I am positive that his strength has carried me through some very dark times and I am convinced that together we are figuring out how to lean into what is to come, regardless of the unknown, we are pushing forward and working hard to adjust and accept all that life has brought our way. It doesn’t matter whether we look at the bitter or the sweet, the fact that we had each other, made the journey, we are on an adventure worth every moment, month, year and decade(s), and it has been so worth it.
How ironic that we are here for our Anniversary, birthdays and special events. We started our trips to Gatlinburg as early as the 90’s – when we brought our kids and the church youth group to the Gatlinburg Churches of Christ Winterfest. Oh what incredible days those were and how the memories ever fill my soul.
How funny it is that even when I am afraid of losing the precious past, I suddenly feel the memories of years gone by, where the heart is overflowing with incredible priceless treasures as snapshots of greater times flood my mind and allow me to become free to move with the present and into the future. The freedom to move, accepting all that is and adjusting to all that can be!
We celebrated 42 years this past December. What a sweet trip we have had and it has been all in God’s timing.
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