Put it down!

In my business career, I have used the analogy of holding on to stress and anxiety with a glass of water. I didn’t invent the analogy but have used something like this to help people understand the concept of stress and its effects long term .

If I were to ask you, How heavy is a glass of water? What would your answer be? 8 oz? 16oz?

The total weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long you hold it. If you hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If it’s an hour, you’ll have an ache in your arm. If you hold it for a day, your arm will feel numb; it may feel paralyzed or fall off (or so I’m told). In each case, the weight of the water doesn’t change, but the longer, the heavier it feels.

Stress and anxiety are like a glass of water. Thinking about something for a short time and everything is fine. Thinking about something for a more extended period begins to feel uncomfortable. And if you think about something all the time, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything or moving forward.

What happens when we add more water? What if you fill the glass to the top? Things tend to get shaky. You have difficulty focusing, and water spills out. Now you worry about the water that has spilled too. If someone is talking to you now, you have difficulty paying attention and holding the glass still. Your mind associates that spilling is terrible. You should be ashamed of yourself for letting those emotions, oops, I meant water, spill. So now you can’t focus, feel shame, and your arm hurts.

You might consider putting the glass down for a while. While it is down and feeling returns to your arm, you can use your skills to deal with the behavior which caused you to hold the glass of water for so long. Most people choose to continue holding the glass of water rather than put it down. Sometimes it can even help to release (spill) a bit of water. There is no shame in spilling a bit of H2O; after all, it’s just water.

Toughness isn’t enduring pain for little reason. Mental toughness is about understanding that emotionally intelligent people sometimes put the glass down and develop a better strategy. When you allow stress to affect daily activities, take action.

My glass of water represents coping with triggers such as death, sickness, and holidays with my family. What’s yours?